Individualism, Self-sufficiency, Control, the Pursuit of Individual Goals

Traditionally conceptualized as a continuum, individualism collectivism approach in the management of remuneration has received considerable attention from sociologists and social psychologists [Hofstede 1983; Hui and Triandis 1986; Wagner and Moch 1986]. Due to the recent shift from “collectivism” to “individualism” approach in remuneration the philosophy of reward system in UK has changed. In order to analyze those changes which took place let’s compare “individualism” and “collectivism” approaches in management.
Individualism refers to a self-orientation, an emphasis on self-sufficiency and control, the pursuit of individual goals that may or may not be consistent with in-group goals, a willingness to confront members of the in-group to which a person belongs, and a culture where people derive pride from their own accomplishments. In an individualistic environment, people are motivated by self-interest and achievement of personal goals. They are hesitant to contribute to collective action unless their own efforts are recognized, preferring instead to benefit from the efforts of others.
Collectivism involves the subordination of personal interests to the goals of the larger work group, an emphasis on sharing, cooperation, and group harmony, a concern with group welfare, and hostility toward out-group members. Collectivists believe that they are an indispensable part of the group, and will readily contribute without concern for advantage being taken of them or for whether others are doing their part. They feel personally responsible for the group product and are oriented towards sharing group rewards.
Individualism -collectivism is a dimension of culture at both the societal and organizational levels, although most of the research has focused on societal or national culture. Thus, Hofstede [1980] has shown that countries such as the United States, Australia, Great Britain, and Canada demonstrate high scores on his individualism -collectivism index, while Venezuela, China, Pakistan, Thailand and Mexico score fairly low.
Although less researched, individualism -collectivism would also appear to be an important dimension of organizational culture. Wagner and Moch [1986] argue that individualism -collectivism is implicit in organizational science, but has received scant attention. Triandis et al. [1985, p.340] discuss the need for corporate education programs directed at employees who bring a particular societal orientation, say individualistic, to an organization whose values are more collectivistic.
Individualism and collectivism in the management of remuneration would seem to have both functional and dysfunctional aspects within an organizational setting. For instance, individualistic managerial approach may foster development of an individual’s self-concept and self-confidence. There is also likely to be a greater sense of personal responsibility for performance outcomes, while interpersonal competition may generate a steady stream of ideas for innovative change. However, there is also likely to be an emphasis on personal gain, selfishness, and expediency. Further, high levels of personal stress are a likely by-product of this type of environment, and interpersonal conflict may be encouraged.
Collectivism managerial approach in compensation offers the advantage of more harmonious relationships among individuals. In this type of management, greater synergies may occur from the combined efforts of people with diverse skills, while individuals may enjoy a network of social support. Alternatively, there is likely to be a loss of one’s self to the group or organizational persona, and a greater level of emotional dependence on the organization. Individuals may have a greater tendency to “free ride” on the efforts of others, while outcomes may represent compromises among the differing interests participating in a task. What remains unclear are the implications of an emphasis on the individual versus the group or collective when attempting to foster high performance of employees in an organizational setting.
Individualism -collectivism would seem to be one of the more salient dimensions of culture insofar as management of remuneration is concerned. In Hofstede’s [1980] global study of national cultures, he demonstrated a relationship between an emphasis on individualism and a country’s level of economic development and wealth. Others researchers identified relationships between individualism and the willingness of employees to violate norms [Verma,1985, p.175] as well as their level of achievement motivation [Hofstede 1980].
More fundamentally, perhaps the richest research tradition focuses on the psychological traits and sociological characteristics of the “individualistic” employee (e.g., Brockhaus [1982]). Implicit in this research is the assumption that the career process is a highly individualistic pursuit.
While individualism may help explain the economic development in the country, it is less clear how individual approach in management of remuneration in existing firms is affected by this dimension of culture. For example, the corporate culture may be fairly collectivistic, while coexisting in a relatively individualistic society. However, the relationship may be more complicated.
Wagner and Moch [1986] suggest that overly individualistic corporate cultures may be inappropriate for contemporary organizations in which highly interdependent methods of productions, inventory management, and matrix structures are employed. The individual employee is overly motivated by self-gain, and can be “bought” by the highest bidder; whereas, the group or collective cannot. Moreover, the corporate setting demands certain political skills and an ability to work with and through others, which may be inconsistent with a strong individualistic orientation. Finally, collectives are viewed as more able to generate a continuous stream of incremental innovations, as opposed to the major breakthroughs that periodically come from individuals.
At the same time, others continue to stress the role of the individual in corporate culture. Peters [1987] places strong emphasis on the need for organizations to support radical champions within their ranks. Peters [1987, p.98] argues that achieving innovation in large firms requires that managers find ways to apply the concepts of individual liberty and freedom as the rewards within the corporate walls. Burgelman and Sayles [1986, p.156] claim that individualism does not inherently conflict with big business, and that successful performance of employees is built around the integration of individualism.
Shift from “collectivism” to “individualism” has greatly influenced rewards system in UK. The primary motivation that is used by managers in the system of rewards became individual motivation based on rational self-seeking behaviour. Certainly, the organisational behaviour literature for a long time has argued that the motivational needs of individuals in organisations are more complex than as represented by neoclassical utility-maximising theories. Maslow argued that individuals have a hierarchy of needs, which range from physiological needs at the lowest level (such as food and warmth), through safety needs, love needs, esteem needs, to self-actualisation at the highest level (1964, p.77). Neoclassical economics tends to emphasise low level needs, whereas the concept of ‘high custodians’ is more commensurate with esteem and self-actualisation needs important to high income groups.
According to Maslow perspective, we might expect attitudes and behaviour of employees to be concerned with a ‘job well done’. Self-interest becomes inter-related with a wider group interest. From doing the job well peer group recognition results (Whyte, 1996, p. 143). The inclusion of esteem, pride or group respect in people’s utility functions to the system of rewards is compatible with Gary Becker’s more inclusive notion of utility maximisation (Mitroff, 1988, p.55). Furthermore, Fama notes how the labour market for management may capitalise performance in managerial remuneration producing a direct incentive for managers to satisfy owners independent of the precise form of the ownership (Fama, 1980, p.289). In its simplest terms, effective management has its own rewards in terms of salary and promotion prospects.
Individualistic approach in management of remuneration stresses financial rewards instead of recognition by peers (which is the primary motivation in collectivistic approach). Thus, one of the examples of remuneration based on individualistic system of rewards is the system of remuneration established for high level management and top executives. As the research shows, financial motivation and benefits based on individual approaches to each manager did not only help to enhance performance of managers but increase profitability of the whole company.
The principal agent framework has become a widely used theoretical model to explain the remuneration of high level management and chief executives (Main, 1992, p.156). Such models typically predict that a positive relationship between compensation and company performance can emerge. In the typical agency framework shareholders (who collectively act as a risk neutral principal) delegate decision making authority to managers (the risk averse agent) whose interests potentially diverge from those of the shareholders. This hierarchical structure has an important source of market failure namely that the effort levels of the manager are not directly observable by the principal and so cannot be fully contracted upon. Moreover, the shareholders and the managers’ interests potentially diverge since managerial effort positively affects the output variable which the shareholder is interested in and hence adds to the shareholders’ payoff, but is costly to the agent and so detracts from the managers’ interests.
The problem for the principal is to design a contract such that the expected monitoring costs for the shareholders are minimized but still induce the executive manager to act in the best interests of the shareholders although now at the executive’s own volition (Tirole, 1988, p.78). The contract offered will depend on the relative risk attitudes of the parties involved and will also be subject to a participation and incentive constraint. The participation constraint requires that the manager receive at least his fall back outside option. The incentive constraint requires that it is in the agent’s interest to undertake the costly action. The contract offered typically ties the reward received by the manager to a variable that the principal is interested in such as company performance or shareholder returns (Gibbons and Murphy, 1990, p.38).
The recent empirical literature has paid much attention to the notion of relative performance evaluation (yardstick competition). In essence the output of other firms provides shareholders with important information about the effort levels of own firm managers. Strong and Waterson (1987) further entertain the idea that there is a broader range of company specific signals which also reveal information about managerial effort levels. In the case of yardstick competition this was achieved by observing the outturn of other firms. All information available to shareholders which describes firm performance potentially reveals underlying effort level of managers. Hence, the shareholder might offer an incentive payment scheme which consists of an alternative signal indicating other observable information available to shareholders upon which the contract may be conditioned. This scheme includes indicators of yardstick competition, and also firm specific characteristics. Indeed this provides an important route by which product market structures, the risk of bankruptcy and so on can potentially influence executive effort, and hence performance, by increasing the information base for incentive contracts.
As well as providing information to shareholders signals may also influence managers outside employment opportunities. Fama (1980) argues that explicit incentives contracts may be redundant since managers are disciplined through the managerial labour market. That is, superior performers are suitably rewarded with high wage offers whereas inferior performers receive low offers. Holmstrom (1982) augmented this theoretical notion arguing that whilst the disciplining effect of the managerial labour market is not insubstantial it cannot be regarded as a pure substitute for efficient contracts (42). In the absence of contracts he shows that executive effort falls as the retirement period approaches. The discipline in the managerial labour market assumes that manager improve their outside options by effort, congruent with maximising shareholder wealth (Gibbons and Murphy, 1992, p.469). However, it might be possible for outside options to be related to other factors not necessarily congruent with the interests of shareholders.
Thus, as well as corporate performance acting as a signal for managerial effort there are also other important corporate specific information available to shareholders (signals) which are likely to be taken into consideration in pay setting. Indeed, signals emanating from product market, debt holding, acquisitive behaviour and union presence all potentially reveal information about the extent to which corporate performance is due to managerial effort. In addition, these company specific signals may reveal information about managers outside career options which will also be reflected in managerial remuneration.
All the types of signal considered are important in shaping pay. Relative performance evaluation or the use of the performance of other firms is taken into account in determining pay and the coefficient is consistent with relative sales growth being the appropriate measure of performance used. However, the same result does not appear to apply to shareholder returns. Reduced union presence results in higher pay for top executives but heading a subsidiary lowered pay in this period (Gibbons&Murphy, 1990, p.35). Most surprisingly however, is the result of cash holding and acquisitive behaviour by firms. Lower cash holdings relative to current liabilities raises pay, as does expansion through take-overs (Gibbon&Murphy, 1990, p.39). Firm growth by take-over which results in the firm being cash poor is a strategy for managers which raises pay considerably, despite other evidence which suggests that such behaviour does not enhance firm performance. Indeed such a strategy left firms highly vulnerable to the subsequent recession. This may be explicable if increasing firm size improves managers outside options. Either way this result raises questions about the degree of effective control of top managers pay and over decision making concerning who controls and benefits from take-over decisions.
Thus, highly individualistic approach to employee remuneration produces strong incentives for high performance of employees, but will also result in a gamesmanship, zero-sum competition, sequestering of information, and the chaotic pursuit of tangential projects having little strategic fit with the organization’s competencies or overall direction [Maidique 1980]. In the absence of any group or team identification, individuals are more likely use organizational resources to satisfy self-interests [Wagner and Moch 1986]. Further, many tasks can be left incomplete as individuals are unable to obtain cooperation from those having the expertise and resources necessary for implementation of the company mission.
However, in a strongly collectivist environment group performance and reward systems can encourage “free-rider” or “social loafing” syndromes on the part of specific individuals. Further, tasks become over-segmented, such that individuals lose sight of the larger project and concentrate only on their assigned duties [Peters, 1987, p.78). Compromise is highly valued, as is acceptance of group norms and roles. The result can be mutually acceptable incremental solutions, as opposed to more controversial breakthrough innovations. In the final analysis, the collective will work to resist significant change, while fostering imitation and adaptation.
Tropman and Morningstar [1989, p. 123] explain, “in a firm where unity of interest is the dominant theme, emphasis on the creating of some diversity, heterogeneity, and internal organizational friction are necessary to get the supply of new ideas required for continual achievement.” The highest levels of employee performance will occur when a fairly balanced amount of consideration is given to the needs of the individual and the collective. This quasi-balance would seem consistent with Waterman’s [1987] concept of “directed autonomy.” Respect for the individual combined with personal incentives (financial and non-financial) are necessary to spur employees to tap their creative potential and develop novel concepts on a continual basis. Moreover, individual autonomy and a sense of ownership of innovation encourage the risk-taking and significant persistence required to implement the goals of the company.
Rosabeth Kanter, in her book The Changemasters [1983], explains (p. 410), “There ate times when autonomy and individual responsibility, are more important than participation and team responsibility . . .” At same time, the complexity of many new product opportunities, combined with technological constraints, the diversity of markets, governmental restrictions, uncontrollable economic developments, and the need for partnerships with suppliers and distributors suggest a degree of teamwork and well-coordinated task integration are vital for the company success. Thus the single-minded employee must be adept at crafting coalitions and building teams who feel a strong sense of joint involvement and contribution (Kanter, 1983, p.76).
The key in establishing rewards for employees is to balance the need for individual initiative with the spirit of cooperation. Individuals are needed to provide the vision, unwavering commitment, and internal salesmanship without which nothing would be accomplished. The company employees do more than provide functional expertise or perform specific tasks. They modify and adapt the innovation as new and unanticipated obstacles arise, all the while being kept on track and spurred on by the individual champion. And, in the final analysis, it is this amorphous group that takes ownership of, and credit for, the end-product.
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Nine Reasons Why Mentoring Matters to You

There are many roles we play or hats we wear in our lives. We
are professionals, family members, brothers, sisters,
co-workers, leaders, coaches, friends, parents, and neighbors to
name just a few. While you may not wear all of the hats I
listed, you can likely add several more that I left out! Many of
these roles are a given - we don’t have much choice of having
the role - they come with being a responsible adult.

Because of these many roles, we find ourselves very busy. Many
tasks and priorities find us perhaps busier now than we have
ever been before!

With these two factors, many roles and little time, it may seem
absurd to write an article that encourages taking on yet another
role and adding another task to your over-booked calendar. But
that is exactly what I am going to do. In this article I’m going
to show you why, despite the competition for our time and
energy, being a mentor is one of the best things you can do.

There are many reasons why being a mentor is valuable to the
other person. They get the value of your expertise, knowledge,
and experience. They get a chance to advance more rapidly and
create greater success than they would have been able to without
your insight and advice. While these are altruistic reasons,
they don’t say anything about how you benefit. And while we all
like to help others, sometimes we need to see what is in it for
us as well.

There are benefits to you personally to spending your time and
energy, sharing your expertise with others as a mentor. In fact,
there are at least nine benefits that you might derive from
being a mentor. These include:

You’ll develop a close relationship with your mentee. We
can never have enough close relationships. And chances are the
person you mentor will be someone you benefit from being around.
After all, they are interested in improving themselves, care
about learning, and are likely excited about the possibilities
in their future. Which brings me to the second benefit…

You’ll be re-energized personally. Get around someone
enthusiastic, and you naturally become more enthusiastic
yourself. Some activities sap our energy while others spark it.
Being a mentor is like carrying a book of matches with you. If
you want to re-energize yourself to your own possibilities, be a
mentor.

You’ll increase your commitment to your own career and
organization. This one applies most if you are mentoring in
a business situation. You can see how this would happen - as you
get more enthused, you see new ways you can contribute. You see
how your mentee can make a difference in the organization and
this new vision will increase your commitment.

You’ll learn more by talking about and teaching things.
It is funny how our brains work. When we teach something or
explain something to someone else, we then understand it more
clearly ourselves. As a mentor you will relive experiences,
teach or share ideas. And when you do this you will learn and
re-learn these concepts for yourself. Often you will find
yourself “taking your own advice” to your great personal or
professional benefit.

You’ll expand your impact in your organization. Not only
will your personal commitment grow, but as you help others be
more successful, the organization will succeed at higher levels.
Think of the satisfaction you will get from knowing you are
playing a part in making that happen.

You’ll enhance your self-esteem. It just feels good to
help others. You will feel better about yourself and your
abilities when you share your wealth of knowledge and experience
with others. Your self esteem will rise because you are doing
good things for someone else.

You’ll increase your skills. As you mentor others, you
will become a better mentor. The skills that make you a better
mentor; empathy, listening, caring, building trust (to name just
a few), make you more effective in many other parts of your
life. Being a mentor is actually great training in itself!

You’ll grow more confident. The culmination of many of
these other benefits is that your confidence will increase.
You’ll be more confident in many sorts of interpersonal
relationships and conversations. You’ll know that you can have a
positive impact. You’ll know that you can make a difference.

You’ll leave a legacy. Successful athletic coaches do
more than grow their teams and win lots of games. The best also
create a linage of coaches that leave their staff to become head
coaches as well. This is an important legacy that they leave - a
statement of their influence and impact. By mentoring others
with care and compassion you will be adding directly to your
legacy.

Take minute now to be selfish. Think about yourself as a mentor.
Identify what you see as being in it for you. Envision how it
will feel to give back to someone else. Then go out and become a
mentor - you, along with your mentee, will be glad you did!

Lovemaking Secrets: How to Find you Inner Sex Goddess

Lovemaking is one of the biggest joys in life. Yet many big beautiful women don’t enjoy this essential part of their relationships to its fullest. Many big beautiful women have major self-confidence issues when it comes to great lovemaking. Their negative body image puts up a big mental roadblock in their path to great sex.

Voluptuous women can enjoy making love to a man without the inhibitions forced on them through negative media and body image. Passionate lovemaking is not the sole province of the skinny.

Great sex is possible regardless of size if you know the lovemaking positions and techniques that will work best for you. Making love as a big beautiful woman isn’t rocket science; it just takes some practice and experimentation both of which can be lots of fun!
At some time or other we’ve all seen products claiming to be some great sex secret, or heard of someone asserting that they know THE great sex tip. The fact is that having great sex isn’t a mystery. Self-confidence is sexy; and almost no man alive can resist a woman who is ready, willing, and able.

Most sexual relationships ebb and flow in intensity over time, but too often as other concerns intrude, couples find themselves in a sex-starved marriage. This can be the result of many factors, but often body images play a big part. The ideal female body image has changed over the centuries, proving one important fact. There is no one ideal body image. There is only what is popular at the moment.

Building self-esteem is a great cure for negative body image, buy how is that accomplished? First of all, remember that your partner is there with you. It’s a free country, so this must be where he wants to be! That gives you a huge advantage right away.
Now that you have your man at your side, how can you change the usual “sex after marriage” in to high-octane passionate lovemaking?

First of all, you must leave your negative baggage at the boudoir door or put it out with the trash! Your man is there with you; take advantage of him literally. What woman doesn’t enjoy being seduced? NONE! Guess what, men enjoy it too. Everyone wants to feel desirable, and that includes your man. Let him know how much you desire him by seducing him for a change. Get yourself and the boudoir ready for an evening of great lovemaking. Making love to a man can help you recognize your seductive powers, and it will make him feel great too. That’s really the greatest lovemaking tip ever!

Next, try out some great sex positions until you find your favorites. You could make a point of trying out one new position every week. Big women have a real advantage when it comes to making love they’re built for comfort, not speed. And as we all know, speed isn’t the goal in great sex!

Big beautiful women are blessed with soft, cuddly curves. Use those curves when you’re making love. Build self esteem by learning to recognize how much your lover enjoys your curves.

Sex in marriage should be great sex. By paying some extra attention to your man, and making him feel good about himself, you’ll increase his attention toward you. The more great sex you have, the more great sex you’ll have.

The key to making good love is to keep your sense of humor and your sense of adventure. These are the best lovemaking tips and lovemaking techniques you can try.

Release your inner BBW sex goddess, and start enjoying some truly passionate lovemaking!

Three Things You Must Know To Build Your Team

Building a team in network marketing is the ultimate goal. Product sales are good but there’s no doubt that the big money is made from building a large team. The bigger the better. Just as in franchising the more outlets you have for your goods and or services the more money you’ll make, and let’s face it, more money is the reason we go into business in the first place isn’t it.

Now we have to remember that we are dealing with people here when we talk about “outlets” and they all respond differently and in varying degrees to the same information. Some will give 100%, some will give 40%, and some won’t respond at all. You have to realize that fact before you ever begin trying to develop people and start building your network marketing empire. Let’s look at just three of the things you need to know that are extremely important when you are building your team.

1.) Make them feel that they are worth it: Everybody wants that. If you can develop your ability to help others increase their own self esteem and make them feel that they’re important you’ll go a long way in helping them want to succeed. You must develop that skill because if a person doesn’t feel that they deserve to be successful they won’t be, in network marketing or any other area of their lives for that matter. When they finally begin to believe that they are worth it and deserve to be successful you wouldn’t be able to stop them from succeeding if you tried! That’s the kind of team you want.

2.) Become their biggest fan: People need encouragement and they need it on a regular basis. You have to make sure it’s real encouragement though and not just empty flattery. They will always be able to know when you’re just feeding them a line. When the encouragement is real and heartfelt they will respond beyond even their wildest expectations. People can tell when you really believe in them and when you’re just blowing smoke. When it comes to encouraging your people it is definately a “smoke free zone”.

3.) Be there for them until they can lead and develop their own teams: Becoming a sponsor is the most important thing you can do in network marketing and you can’t just sponsor someone and then leave hanging. John Maxwell gives a great illustration of this point in his book “The Success Journey”. In that book he compares building a team to learning to fly. John says that a good flight instructor would never let their student take a solo flight before they were ready, or keep them from taking one once they were ready. It’s the difference between being a flight instructor or a travel agent. A flight instructor is with you every step of the way showing you what to do, how to do it and encouraging you along the way while a travel agent just gives you your ticket,smiles and sends you off on your own.

You and I both know that there are more things to know and consider when building you team and developing your people, but if you will concentrate on these three things you will be amazed at the results.

Success and Your Self-Esteem

Self-esteem, the manner in which one feels about herself at the deepest level, influences virtually every aspect of our lives, hence whether we are successful or not. No kidding, it is that important. If we were all brutally honest with ourselves, each of us would quietly confess some feeling of inadequacy in at least one area of our life. This might be leftover scarring from a childhood emotional trauma or result from a recent verbal attack from someone. Many times, even though we may appear to be ignoring such an assault, we secretly harbor negative, self-abusing thoughts and our mind goes to work to paint worst-case scenarios.

Like Fort Knox, one’s self esteem should be guarded with great intensity of purpose. We should be on guard, constantly vigilant and aware of anything that could damage our feelings of worth and value. Self- doubt is the Devils’ greatest weapon against us. We should guard our own self- esteem as well as that of our children and other loved ones, constantly building them up and encouraging them. We are all of great value to our Creator, our families and those closest to us. Do not ever allow anyone, whether intentionally or not, to attempt to convince you otherwise. As Zig Ziglar is noted for saying, “When you point a finger at someone else, you have three times that many pointing back at you.”

A sign of lacking sufficient self-esteem is often noted in a person who is often critical of others, always finding fault in their performance or activities, all the while attempting to build himself up in comparison. Don’t be fooled, and don’t fall victim to this kind of assault. There is also a fine line between confidence and arrogance, and the defining variable is often sincere belief and caring. At the core of your values do you actually believe with confidence that you can do it, or is your appearance of confidence a front, masking a sense of fear and inadequacy? True confidence often empowers others with inspiration through leadership. Arrogance often includes a sense of cockiness or a slight demeaning of others possibly attempting the same task as you. An arrogant person may think that he is the sole person capable of the successful completion of a task, while a confident person will often inspire and empower others by leading them to join in on the accomplishment of a specific task or goal, sharing the glory and empowerment afterwards.

Success has been defined in many ways by dozens of people over the years. I prefer to view success as a worthwhile journey whose reward is evident as the result of embarking on, staying the course, and completing that journey. Success is more about the how than the what. That journey, that “pursuit of a worthy ideal,” often defines ones’ character in great detail. Self-esteem is enhanced by this pursuit. Self- esteem will deepen and grow because of this pursuit. It is seldom a result of reaching the goal, but more a function of the process itself. Self esteem is enhanced by the very belief of “I can” and the action that is associated with it. Self-esteem will grow with action and perseverance. Self-esteem will be enhanced each and every time you step out and expand your comfort zone. Self-esteem will deepen every time you lift someone else up and encourage them. Your self-worth will grow each time you share these simple principles with someone else and help them to grow. You are empowered by the growth and confidence you inspire in others.

Success then, is almost a by-product of self-esteem, proportional to the depth of ones’ convictions and self-belief. The journey of accomplishing a worthy ideal involves digging deeply inside and mustering confidence, self-belief , discipline and persistence. Self-esteem and success, though appearing dependent upon one another, are in reality, independent. Immediate or apparent success, or lack thereof, will not impede the self esteem of a person who is consciously on the trail of a worthy pursuit as described earlier, for they understand that the success they seek is simply a matter of time. This person is not discouraged by short-term setbacks. Her mind is focused upon her goal and she constantly is “adjusting her sails for changes in the wind.”

See yourself as a person of great value, capable of making wonderful contributions to enhance the lives of others, perhaps some of whom which are not even known to you. Do not allow others to control your self-esteem. It has been said that “no one can make you feel inferior without your permission.” Simply withhold permission, no matter the circumstances. Self-esteem is your own; start cultivating it today.

How to Overcome Low Self Esteem

When we have little self respect for ourselves or a very low self esteem it becomes very hard to be a success at anything. We often fail before we even start something, simply because we tend to avoid situations we fear. The very idea of something can send us running for the hills. But it is this very avoidance that is responsible for compounding the problem. You see, giving up something before you even start is habit forming. Each time you take the easy option you make it harder for yourself the next time.

Denis Waitley once said “To establish true self-esteem we must concentrate on our successes and forget about the failures and the negatives in our lives.” So, the good news is that overcoming low self esteem is not as difficult as it may seem. The view that self confidence is something we are born with is simply not true. It can be learned like anything else and it comes through building on our previous successes and learning from our mistakes. It doesn’t matter where you start from because success is only relative anyway. What is certain though, to build self esteem you must make the decisions that will allow success in to your life

Imagine how you will feel when you can face any situation with a spirit of adventure and a calm attitude. When toleration of uncertainty is second nature. When you become a “take me as I am” person who is not scared to fail once in a while. This is not arrogance, this is simply you being yourself and not dancing to the beat of someone else’s drum. It is a big problem to go through life wanting to be liked or fearing others opinions of you. All our energy is diverted in the wrong direction. If I’m making a speech I want to making the speech and not be thinking about what the audience is thinking.

The true path to building self confidence is to devote yourself to excellence in all that you do!

Here is how it works. When making a decision, do your best to choose the better option over the easy option. The choices you make determine whether you ‘remain in’ or ‘move out of’ your comfort zone. The better option usually takes us out of our comfort zone. You see, we often settle for the easy choice because it is the one we are familiar with, even if it is not helping our cause.

When you have made your choice, devote excellence to the path you have chosen. In the beginning you will still probably avoid some of the more uncomfortable situations but this is to be expected. Mahatma Gandhi once said “No matter how insignificant the thing you have to do, do it as well as you can, give as much of your care and attention as you would give to the thing you regard as most important. For it will be by those small things that you shall be judged.”

As your sense of positive pride grows through giving your best, you will increase self confidence and build your self esteem. You will begin to feel good about yourself and have more energy and passion to take on bigger things. We will never conquer low self esteem through analysis alone. Building self confidence is only possible by allowing success into our lives on an ever increasing basis.

A Starter Guide To Self Imporvement “Build Your Self Esteem”

So how do you stay calm, composed and maintain self esteem in a tough environment? Here are some tips you may to consider as a starter guide to self improvement.

Imagine yourself as a Dart Board. Everything and everyone else around you may become Dart Pins, at one point or another. These dart pins will destroy your self esteem and pull you down in ways you won’t even remember. Don’t let them destroy you, or get the best of you. So which dart pins should you avoid?

Dart Pin #1 : Negative Work Environment
Beware of “dog eat dog” theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. Most of the time you get to work too much without getting help from people concerned. Stay out of this, it will ruin your self esteem. Competition is at stake anywhere. Be healthy enough to compete, but in a healthy competition that is.

Dart Pin #2: Other People’s Behavior
Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluffers,all these kinds of people will pose bad vibes for your self esteem, as well as to your self improvement scheme.

Dart Pin #3: Changing Environment
You can’t be a green bug on a brown field. Changes challenge our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters the way we think. Changes will make life difficult for awhile, it may cause stress but it will help us find ways to improve our selves. Change will be there forever, we must be susceptible to it.

Dart Pin #4: Past Experience
It’s okay to cry and say “ouch!” when we experience pain. But don’t let pain transform itself into fear. It might grab you by the tail and swing you around. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson.

Dart Pin #5: Negative World View
Look at what you’re looking at. Don’t wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of worst situations.

Dart Pin #6: Determination Theory
The way you are and your behavioral traits is said to be a mixed end product of your inherited traits (genetics), your upbringing (psychic), and your environmental surroundings such as your spouse, the company, the economy or your circle of friends. You have your own identity. If your father is a failure, it doesn’t mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from other people’s experience, so you’ll never have to encounter the same mistakes.

Sometimes, you may want to wonder if some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. NO. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice. Building self esteem and drawing lines for self improvement is a choice, not a rule or a talent. God wouldn’t come down from heaven and tell you “George, you may now have the permission to build self esteem and improve your self.”

In life, its hard to stay tough specially when things and people around you keep pulling you down. When we get to the battle field, we should choose the right luggage to bring and armors to use, and pick those that are bullet proof. Life’s options give us arrays of more options. Along the battle, we will get hit and bruised. And wearing a bullet proof armor ideally means ’self change’. The kind of change which comes from within. Voluntarily. Armor or Self Change changes 3 things: our attitude, our behavior and our way of thinking.

Building self esteem will eventually lead to self improvement if we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we do. Its like a flame that should gradually spread like a brush fire from inside and out. When we develop self esteem, we take control of our mission, values and discipline. Self esteem brings about self improvement, true assessment, and determination. So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self esteem? Be positive. Be contented and happy. Be appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to compliment. A positive way of living will help you build self esteem, your starter guide to self improvement.

Impove Your Self Esteem. A Beginners Guide To Self Improvement

So how do you stay tranquil, composed and sustain self worth in a tough environment? Here are some tips you may to need to reflect on as a starter guide to boosting your self improvement.

Think of yourself as a Pin Cushion Board. Everything and everybody else on all sides of you may become Dart Pins, at one time or another. These pins will demolish your self esteem and pull you down in ways you won’t even remember. Don’t let them crush you, or get the best of you. So which pins ought you avoid?

Dart Pin #1 : Bad Work Environment
Beware of “dog eat dog” thesis where everyone else is struggling only to get ahead. This is where those that arent appreciative of effort, usually succeed. No one will appreciate your support even if you miss lunch and dinner, and remain up late. Most of the time you get to work too successfully without getting assistance from people concerned. Stay out of this, it will ruin your self esteem. Competition is at stake anywhere. Be healthy and able to compete, but in a healthy competition that is.

Dart Pin #2: Other People’s Behavior
Bulldozers, crawlers, people who gossip, whine, backstab, snipe, walking wounded, controller freaks, those that nagg, complain, and so many more… all these kinds of people will pose bad vibes for your self esteem, as well as to your self improvement scheme.

Dart Pin #3: Changing Environment
You can’t be a amateurish bug on a brown field. Changes question our paradigms. It tests our versatility, adaptability and alters the way we think. Changes will make life difficult for awhile, it may cause stress but it will help us find ways to better our selves. Change may be there forever, we must be open to it.

Dart Pin #4: Recent Experience
It’s enough to cry and say “ouch!” when we experience pain. But don’t let discomfort change itself into fearfulness. It may grab you by the tail and wave you around. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson-learned.

Dart Pin #5: Negative Wordly View
Pay attention at what you’re looking at. Don’t surround yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self esteem, we must learn how to create the best out of worst situations.

Dart Pin #6: Perseverance Theory
The way you are and your behavioral traits is said to be a mixed end product of your inherited traits (genetics), your upbringing (psychic), and your environmental surroundings such as your spouse, the company, the economy or your ring of friends. You possess your own identity. If your father is a failure, it doesn’t follow that you have to be a failure too. Learn from other people’s experience, so you’ll never have to encounter the same mistakes.
Often-times, you may want to wonder if other people are born leaders or deep thinkers. NO. Being deep, and staying positive is a choice. Creating self esteem and drawing lines for self improvement is a choice, not a guideline or a strength. God wouldn’t look down from paradise and tell you “George, you may now have the consent to build self esteem and better your self.”

In life, its hard to stay tough specially when things and people around you insist on pulling you down. When we get to the battle field, we should choose the right luggage to carry and armors to use, and opt for those that are bullet proof. Life’s options give us arrays of more options. Along the battle, we may get hit and bruised. And donning a bullet proof armor at best means ’self change’. The kind of change which comes from within. Voluntarily. Armor or Self Change changes 3 things: our attitude, our behavior and our way of thinking.

Boosting our self esteem will ultimately lead us to self betterment if we begin to take responsibilty for ourselves, what we possess and what we try to do. Its like a flame that should gradually spread like a brush fire from inside and out. When we reveal self esteem, we gain control of our task, values and training. Self esteem brings about self improvement, true assessment, and determination.

So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self esteem? Be sure. Be contented and satisfied. Be appreciative. Never miss an chance to compliment. A sure way of living will assist you build self esteem, your starter guide to self improvement.

Building Healthly Self Esteem in our Children

Developing Positive Self Esteem In Children

We hear from all the professionals how key a good self esteem in childhood can be, and there are undoubtedly a great deal of opinions about how to accomplish it. It’s a significant part of being a parent, and parents play an important role in helping to promote a good and healthy self esteem in their kids. For the most part, self esteem is learned, and a lot of that learning will happen at home while in childhood.

Contrary to what many parents might assume, a positive self esteem doesn’t make a child overly vain or self centered. Kids who’ve been taught to build their self esteem correctly aren’t going to become spoiled or selfish as a result. A healthy and positive self worth fosters self love, self confidence and awareness that is appropriate to becoming the basis for a child to move toward advancement and progression in adulthood.

There is no definitive answer in children, that’s obvious. No child is exactly like the next, and each of them will respond to things differently. With that in mind, low self esteem in your children could lead to them having a hard time making friends, become easily frustrated and angry, frequently put those around them down, and even show signs they have difficulty problem solving.

kids with a low self worth can lack the resolve to try out new things and often get stalled believing they can’t make improvements, move on, or find new opportunities.

It is important to understand that children are not going to always feel good about themselves or have a high self worth in each situation or circumstance. Merely because of human nature, young children may feel accepted and confident in one moment, and totally different the next. Kids just won’t suddenly have a healthy and positive self esteem, and as parents, it’s vital that we continually use the resources and tools available in order to develop and cultivate it.

The part that parents have in fortifying their young children’s self esteem and worth can be successful basically by doing rather easy things. Things like respecting who they are, listening to them and taking them seriously, and showing them appreciation.

Allow children real responsibilities. Permit them to be in charge of something–even if it’s just making their own bed every morning. The idea that they are being depended on, and that they can honestly contribute, can help to nurture a self esteem and self worth in a favorable direction.

Be sure that your children realize that they are good and they’re loved unconditionally. Remember that their worth should not be dependent on performance. Help them see that setbacks can be opportunities, and make certain that it’s something that you believe too.

Provide your children with the opportunity to make decisions. By encouraging choice making when they’re young, parents can better prepare young children for the harder decisions they must make as they grow older. Having discussions and talks about choices and their consequences can help your child to develop a strong self esteem about their capability to make good decisions.

Spend some good, quality one on one time with each of your children. Be sure that the attention you give to them at that time is undivided, but know that it doesn’t always acquire to be something elaborate or even planned. Whether it’s throwing a football or talking in the car on the way to the store, that time can help to build a positive self esteem.

There are several tools that are around to help you to show your children how great it is to be them. There are excellent self esteem games such as Reach For The Stars, with well thought out and positive activities that will reinforce that message in a intriguing and fun way. At http://www.reachforthestarsgame.com, we understand that you love your kids because we love our own.

Nine Reasons Why Mentoring Matters to You

There are many roles we play or hats we wear in our lives. We
are professionals, family members, brothers, sisters,
co-workers, leaders, coaches, friends, parents, and neighbors to
name just a few. While you may not wear all of the hats I
listed, you can likely add several more that I left out! Many of
these roles are a given - we don’t have much choice of having
the role - they come with being a responsible adult.

Because of these many roles, we find ourselves very busy. Many
tasks and priorities find us perhaps busier now than we have
ever been before!

With these two factors, many roles and little time, it may seem
absurd to write an article that encourages taking on yet another
role and adding another task to your over-booked calendar. But
that is exactly what I am going to do. In this article I’m going
to show you why, despite the competition for our time and
energy, being a mentor is one of the best things you can do.

There are many reasons why being a mentor is valuable to the
other person. They get the value of your expertise, knowledge,
and experience. They get a chance to advance more rapidly and
create greater success than they would have been able to without
your insight and advice. While these are altruistic reasons,
they don’t say anything about how you benefit. And while we all
like to help others, sometimes we need to see what is in it for
us as well.

There are benefits to you personally to spending your time and
energy, sharing your expertise with others as a mentor. In fact,
there are at least nine benefits that you might derive from
being a mentor. These include:

You’ll develop a close relationship with your mentee. We
can never have enough close relationships. And chances are the
person you mentor will be someone you benefit from being around.
After all, they are interested in improving themselves, care
about learning, and are likely excited about the possibilities
in their future. Which brings me to the second benefit…

You’ll be re-energized personally. Get around someone
enthusiastic, and you naturally become more enthusiastic
yourself. Some activities sap our energy while others spark it.
Being a mentor is like carrying a book of matches with you. If
you want to re-energize yourself to your own possibilities, be a
mentor.

You’ll increase your commitment to your own career and
organization. This one applies most if you are mentoring in
a business situation. You can see how this would happen - as you
get more enthused, you see new ways you can contribute. You see
how your mentee can make a difference in the organization and
this new vision will increase your commitment.

You’ll learn more by talking about and teaching things.
It is funny how our brains work. When we teach something or
explain something to someone else, we then understand it more
clearly ourselves. As a mentor you will relive experiences,
teach or share ideas. And when you do this you will learn and
re-learn these concepts for yourself. Often you will find
yourself “taking your own advice” to your great personal or
professional benefit.

You’ll expand your impact in your organization. Not only
will your personal commitment grow, but as you help others be
more successful, the organization will succeed at higher levels.
Think of the satisfaction you will get from knowing you are
playing a part in making that happen.

You’ll enhance your self-esteem. It just feels good to
help others. You will feel better about yourself and your
abilities when you share your wealth of knowledge and experience
with others. Your self esteem will rise because you are doing
good things for someone else.

You’ll increase your skills. As you mentor others, you
will become a better mentor. The skills that make you a better
mentor; empathy, listening, caring, building trust (to name just
a few), make you more effective in many other parts of your
life. Being a mentor is actually great training in itself!

You’ll grow more confident. The culmination of many of
these other benefits is that your confidence will increase.
You’ll be more confident in many sorts of interpersonal
relationships and conversations. You’ll know that you can have a
positive impact. You’ll know that you can make a difference.

You’ll leave a legacy. Successful athletic coaches do
more than grow their teams and win lots of games. The best also
create a linage of coaches that leave their staff to become head
coaches as well. This is an important legacy that they leave - a
statement of their influence and impact. By mentoring others
with care and compassion you will be adding directly to your
legacy.

Take minute now to be selfish. Think about yourself as a mentor.
Identify what you see as being in it for you. Envision how it
will feel to give back to someone else. Then go out and become a
mentor - you, along with your mentee, will be glad you did!